Hebrews.

None of this is mine. None of it. 


My family and friends.
My education.
My relationships.
My home.
My accomplishments.
My money.
Music. 


It's a gloriously beautiful fall day as I sit here outside on an old wooden bench. I'm surrounded by trees and their changing colors. Crisp leaves are dancing their way along the brick sidewalk in front of me. There's not a cloud in the sky, and the breeze is invigorating. Perfect. 


Not too long ago, I was reading through Hebrews, and a thought occurred to me. Everything that I've grown so accustomed to, everyone and everything I've ever loved: doesn't belong to me. Honestly, this thought didn't sit well with me. I don't necessarily enjoy it, but I do find comfort in being in control, and the idea that I was not ultimately in control of my accomplishments, family and friends, education, money, and other various things...just, quite simply bothered me. I believed it, and knew it was true. I just wasn't willing to accept it. 


However, a few days ago as I was walking, another thought occurred to me. Although, I'm willing to bet this wasn't my own mind speaking...rather God. He really had me re-evaluate my thinking with several questions... Who am I to want to be in control? How can I be so ready to trust God with my ETERNITY rather than my money, or my relationships...my education and future. I do trust Him with my soul (that is immortal), but I'm so hesitant when it comes to things that will eventually cease. 


I once again read Hebrews, and had a whole new outlook on Christ's superiority. In Hebrews 1: 2 &4 it writes, "...But in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom he made the universe....So he (Jesus) became as superior to the angels as the name he has inherited is superior to theirs."


ALL things come under Christ. You. And I. Everything we've ever known comes under Him. Take a second to really think about it. Things have been given to us from God, and it is up to us to take care, love, and appreciate all he's done. But ultimately what is here on earth whether human, deed, accomplishment, or whatever it may be; it ultimately falls under God. I still haven't wrapped my head around that one. And although our God is powerful beyond what we could ever comprehend, He is Good. We and everything we are, have, and become falls under Christ's superiority. 


It's still difficult for me to completely give everything up, and I really do want to take credit for some of the things in my life. It's funny though now that I think about it. I want to take credit for the good. We can take the bad out of it. But now, as I'm sitting here I realize I'm far more responsible for the bad than the good. Our God is the creator of every good and perfect thing. He deserves our highest praise. 


So all in all, what was my purpose for writing this...? To share with you what has been on my mind this past week or so. After a nice little slap in the face, I was reminded of who God is. Creator. He is our superior. Authority. Father. 


Thank you for reading, friends. I hope you all are well. 


Make it a good one. 
Kirsten

freeze.

Hello, all. Once again, it has been some time since my last post on here. I apologize, but it has just been so hard finding a spare moment for this therapy I've grown so dependent on. Believe me, my mind is always thinking of new ideas and things to write, but whether or not I transfer them on to a physical piece of paper or here on this screen...well, that's just another ordeal in itself. But here I am now. It's good to be back.


After running around campus for nearly eight and half hours straight, I am finally able to sit down on my cozy bed wearing one of my favorite sweaters and nice mug of coffee by my side. Oh yes...Mr. Bing Crosby is keeping me company as well. Thanks, Bing. 


I sincerely hope you are doing well, friend. If things have been a bit overwhelming for you, know that you're not alone in that--I'm right there with you. Psalm 94:19 has been an incredible source of comfort..."When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul." Not only is our God a powerful One, but an affectionate One. How beautiful.


I am finding that college has been such a blur. It's almost like everything is moving forward without me, and I'm just doing my best to keep up rather than embracing the moment. This realization makes me sad. These are, after all, supposed to be the best four years of my life, right? Hm. I should probably work more on that...Embrace, Kirsten. Feel. 


But honestly, despite the chaos, college has been a rather good experience. A learning one, yes. In fact, I'm finding how OCD I've become... Black binders are becoming my new best friend. That's okay. 


I'm starting a new Bible study tomorrow evening. I can't wait to see where it will take me and my heart. I'm sure God has wonderful things planned for it. I'm ready to discover them.


I also want to take this moment and thank you for reading. I really do appreciate it, and would love to hear from you. 


I think I'll end it here tonight, friends. Bing's calling...Time for a duet. 


Kirsten Marie

Here.

Well, friends. It's been a little while. I really haven't had the opportunity to breathe it feels, let alone take time to write for you...and perhaps myself. But here I am now. Let's go.


The first week of college has come and gone, and I'm having mixed feelings about it quite honestly. I've met some incredible people, and I just know that these formulating friendships will amount to something. And for that, I'm thankful.


So many changes have happened this past week, and I'm still trying to understand why. It's been a difficult week, and very trying, but there's one thing I'm sure of: God's consistency. How beautiful.


Sitting here now reflecting on this last week I realize how blind I was to Jesus despite the fact that He was standing by my side. Always with me. Heck, He even went with me to the wrong math class early Monday morning. He never leaves. Never abandons. Wonderful.


The idea of serving a Jesus that never alienates Himself from us is truly a hard concept to grasp. At least for me. There were plenty of times this week when I felt so lost and separated from everything that I had once known. Goodbye's were exchanged. And it is my ultimate hope that one day I can share a 'hello' with them again. And as I'm sitting here, I remember a time when a good friend once told me that life should not be a matter of "what if?" but, "what now?"


Friends, our Jesus is an affectionate Savior and His will is completely perfect. Our human perception and definition of the word 'perfect' I believe hardly comes close to just how beautifully perfect He and His will are. And always will be. 


If there's one thing you get from reading this, let it be this: our God is absolutely PERFECT.


Be strong, friends. Afterall, the war we're fighting has already been won. 


Kirsten Marie

harold.

College, you're finally here. I think we're going to get along just fine.

...Had an inspiring encounter today with 76 year-old Harold. I was walking along campus familiarizing myself with my new surroundings, and noticed him smiling to himself while carrying a violin case. He sat himself down on a bench under a tree, probably for the shade, and sat his apparently beloved instrument on his lap. As I was walking by, I smiled, and he asked me how I was doing. A typical conversation starter, but it was pretty evident that he wanted someone to talk to. Looking for something to talk about, I mentioned his violin, and how he and I had something in common: music.

That got him going. He just started beaming ear to ear as he told how he just started taking lessons from a student here on campus. He was 76, and explained that this was something he had been wanting to do all his life, but never got around to it. He just started about a month ago, and it was so obvious through his smile that he was completely in love with what he was doing. He was in love with the music.

He explained that he never had the chance to learn because he had to help with his father's farm, and he eventually took over once his father passed. He became so consumed with the farm that he put aside his dream. To play the violin. And here he is now, finally making that dream a reality. How inspiring that he never gave up.

I'm really grateful for my encounter with Harold today. It's almost like I needed it. Today is the beginning of me pursuing my dream of music. And it's so incredible to me that I met Harold today. Almost like he found me, and I was meant to hear his story as I'm about to begin mine. His story reminded me to never take music for granted. I only had to wait 8 years before I had the opportunity. He had to wait 76.

Harold, I really appreciate what had to share with me today. I needed that.

I hope all is well for you, friends.

Kirsten M. Westerman

practicing.The.Purpose

Hello, all. 


My last Friday here in little Leo is coming to a close, and what better way to finish it off than here with you. Tonight was actually spent with four beautiful little girls all under the tender age of ten years, and as I was on my way home from my evening with them, I rolled down the windows and let the warm summer evening breeze circulate through the car. While driving through Leo, and winding my way around this small town, a tangible peace overcame me. My Purpose was with me. 


Holding my small hand, He transmitted to me a calamity that only He can offer. I must admit, friends it was slightly (right.) overwhelming, and frighteningly beautiful. Thank You. 


My faith has wavered these past few weeks, months perhaps. But how beautiful it is to serve a Jesus who's faithfulness and loyalty is not dependent on my faithfulness and loyalty. 


College, here I come. Maybe you're more ready for me than I am you, but expect me to hit the ground running. I hope we can be good friends. I'd like that.


...It's now Saturday morning. Make it a good one, friends. 


-Almost ready

Beginning.

These upcoming weeks hold so many new beginnings, and quite honestly, my heart is in question as to whether or not I'm ready for all this. Doubt has definitely been a faithful friend recently. Always by my side. 

But as my doubtful self was sitting here trying to figure out what to write, I called upon life’s manual, and "coincidentally" opened it to Philippians 3. A common chapter in the Bible to many, but somehow it never loses it's refreshing encouragement. 

In this book, Paul expresses his affection for the believers in Philippi specifically, but I believe these God-breathed words were meant for all. Including you and I. 

This morning, God spoke to my worried heart so clearly in Philippians 3:13..."Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Whoa.

One word comes to mind when reading that. Joy. Jesus is the source of abundant lives filled with joy. Now, I understand that one's definition of "abundant" may be different than another's, but of one thing I'm sure. Joy is not seen. Joy is felt. Not only by the individual, but by others. It's infectious, and almost tactile in a sense. True joy comes from the Spirit. 

I should no longer feel doubtful and worrisome about not living up to my future and all of these worldly expectations, but rather, be joyful. Hopeful. Press on, and faithfully run the race that Jesus has set before me. The ultimate prize is not here on this earth, but waiting for me once this life is over. It is my hope to relentlessly pursue the knowledge and love of the Lord.  I implore you to join me. 

Be blessed, friends. Thank you for reading.

Hopeful

12:05 AM

...Yes, it's early, just a few minutes past midnight. But I've really been wanting to do this. Start a blog. It'll be a multipurpose thing...an outlet for thoughts, poetry, and maybe even a place of encouragement and self clarification. Who knows...

First off, thank you. It really means something that you've even read this far. Only a couple sentences, yes...but thank you.

My next entry will have more food for thought, I assure you. Right now, this is just the beginning, and I'm excited to see where this whole thing will go. I'd love to hear from you, and if you feel so inclined to leave a comment, please do.

I think I'm going to end it here tonight. Good night, world...You were good to me today.