Thursday, September 9, 2010

Hebrews.

None of this is mine. None of it. 


My family and friends.
My education.
My relationships.
My home.
My accomplishments.
My money.
Music. 


It's a gloriously beautiful fall day as I sit here outside on an old wooden bench. I'm surrounded by trees and their changing colors. Crisp leaves are dancing their way along the brick sidewalk in front of me. There's not a cloud in the sky, and the breeze is invigorating. Perfect. 


Not too long ago, I was reading through Hebrews, and a thought occurred to me. Everything that I've grown so accustomed to, everyone and everything I've ever loved: doesn't belong to me. Honestly, this thought didn't sit well with me. I don't necessarily enjoy it, but I do find comfort in being in control, and the idea that I was not ultimately in control of my accomplishments, family and friends, education, money, and other various things...just, quite simply bothered me. I believed it, and knew it was true. I just wasn't willing to accept it. 


However, a few days ago as I was walking, another thought occurred to me. Although, I'm willing to bet this wasn't my own mind speaking...rather God. He really had me re-evaluate my thinking with several questions... Who am I to want to be in control? How can I be so ready to trust God with my ETERNITY rather than my money, or my relationships...my education and future. I do trust Him with my soul (that is immortal), but I'm so hesitant when it comes to things that will eventually cease. 


I once again read Hebrews, and had a whole new outlook on Christ's superiority. In Hebrews 1: 2 &4 it writes, "...But in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom he made the universe....So he (Jesus) became as superior to the angels as the name he has inherited is superior to theirs."


ALL things come under Christ. You. And I. Everything we've ever known comes under Him. Take a second to really think about it. Things have been given to us from God, and it is up to us to take care, love, and appreciate all he's done. But ultimately what is here on earth whether human, deed, accomplishment, or whatever it may be; it ultimately falls under God. I still haven't wrapped my head around that one. And although our God is powerful beyond what we could ever comprehend, He is Good. We and everything we are, have, and become falls under Christ's superiority. 


It's still difficult for me to completely give everything up, and I really do want to take credit for some of the things in my life. It's funny though now that I think about it. I want to take credit for the good. We can take the bad out of it. But now, as I'm sitting here I realize I'm far more responsible for the bad than the good. Our God is the creator of every good and perfect thing. He deserves our highest praise. 


So all in all, what was my purpose for writing this...? To share with you what has been on my mind this past week or so. After a nice little slap in the face, I was reminded of who God is. Creator. He is our superior. Authority. Father. 


Thank you for reading, friends. I hope you all are well. 


Make it a good one. 
Kirsten

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

freeze.

Hello, all. Once again, it has been some time since my last post on here. I apologize, but it has just been so hard finding a spare moment for this therapy I've grown so dependent on. Believe me, my mind is always thinking of new ideas and things to write, but whether or not I transfer them on to a physical piece of paper or here on this screen...well, that's just another ordeal in itself. But here I am now. It's good to be back.


After running around campus for nearly eight and half hours straight, I am finally able to sit down on my cozy bed wearing one of my favorite sweaters and nice mug of coffee by my side. Oh yes...Mr. Bing Crosby is keeping me company as well. Thanks, Bing. 


I sincerely hope you are doing well, friend. If things have been a bit overwhelming for you, know that you're not alone in that--I'm right there with you. Psalm 94:19 has been an incredible source of comfort..."When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul." Not only is our God a powerful One, but an affectionate One. How beautiful.


I am finding that college has been such a blur. It's almost like everything is moving forward without me, and I'm just doing my best to keep up rather than embracing the moment. This realization makes me sad. These are, after all, supposed to be the best four years of my life, right? Hm. I should probably work more on that...Embrace, Kirsten. Feel. 


But honestly, despite the chaos, college has been a rather good experience. A learning one, yes. In fact, I'm finding how OCD I've become... Black binders are becoming my new best friend. That's okay. 


I'm starting a new Bible study tomorrow evening. I can't wait to see where it will take me and my heart. I'm sure God has wonderful things planned for it. I'm ready to discover them.


I also want to take this moment and thank you for reading. I really do appreciate it, and would love to hear from you. 


I think I'll end it here tonight, friends. Bing's calling...Time for a duet. 


Kirsten Marie